Christian Say's Pagans Can't Poop In His Pots!
On Friday, August 23 we received a very upsetting phone call from Stan Eure, owner of Eure Equipment Rentals.  Mr. Eure informed us that "god has told me to pull the portolets"  currently in our campground.  Mr. Eure also told us that he would not provide the additional 8 portolets we had reserved for our biannual Gathering of the Tribes, September 12-16.  He is doing this because he "recently found out we are Pagan"  Mr. Eure informed us that he would be removing the two toilets currently in the primitive area of our campground "within the week" 

Eure stated that "When I didn't know, I could not be held accountable, but now that I do, I am accountable"  He also said that "I know you have Christian stuff out there, you do those Pagan Gatherings that I can not have my name associated with"

December 12, 2001 we paid Eure Equipment $1460.00 in advance for a one year contract to provide two portable toilets to our campground, and pump them weekly.  We reserved the additional 8 toilets for our Spring and Fall Gatherings February 8.  Eure provided portable toilets for our Fall Gathering 2001 and our Spring Gathering 2002.  How he "just found out we are Pagan" we don't quite understand.  We assume this means Pagan poop looks no different then Christian crap.

Immediately after Mr. Eure's call, we started contacting other portolet rental companies.  Unfortunately, it looks like we will have to go out of the area (and pay a lot more money) to get portolets for our Fall Gathering since several large community events are being held the same weekend.

Needless to say, we are not real happy about this bizarre turn of events.  We have faced many different forms of religious discrimination over the years, but prejudiced potty providers is a new one.  We have two choices at this point, we can get angry, or we can laugh at the utter absurdity of the situation.

We pick laugh. 

To that end, we decided that a Christian "rap" (or as we prefer to call it C-rap) regarding the situation was in order.   There is not much of anything more pathetic then a bunch of middle aged white women trying to rap ...except perhaps a bunch of middle aged white women trying to rap about portolets.

Monday morning, after speaking with a reporter with the Virginian Pilot, Mr. Eure called us again.  He had changed his tune somewhat since Friday.  Now he says he will leave his toilets here until we are able to find another company to replace them.

We have secured a long term Potty Pumping contract with Spivey Rentals.
The Spivey salesman has assured me that he has "been in this business a long time, and there is no difference between Christian, Pagan, or Jewish poop.  It all smells the same in the end"  :-)

The mp3 "God Say's"  is here:
Click to hear "God Says"

It takes awhile to download but we can't figure out how to compress it any more without making us sound like chipmunks.

"God Says"

The point of this call 
                       is to give you the news
That our God has spoken, 
                     so the portolets you lose
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

We had a contract, that I forswore
              I did it for the Lord I do adore
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

We at Eure Rentals 
                       are commanded by God
If we honor our deal, 
               he'll get his panties in a wad
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

You aren't Christian so you can't crap
        In our commodes and that's a fact
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

Fundies worship a God of hate
             So you can't void what you ate
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

At God's request we'll harass you a lot
At the very last minute 
                      we'll take back our pots
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

Local toilets are all booked up
So you Pagans are really..inconvenienced
                                    God Says!

Our God moves in mysterious ways
So your bowels can't that's what we pray
                                  God says,
                                    God says!

Our God sits upon a great white throne
So you'll have to find your own all alone
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

I'm born of the blood &
                             bathed in the Spirit
So I'm taking your toilets, 
                         my hate has no limits
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

To illustrate our intolerance of you
We're not going to let you rent our loos
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

We believe you are dammed for
We're a fundamentalist Christian
                         anti Pagan Stink bomb
                                  God Says,
                                    God Says!

That's the end of our rap,
                               we hope it's clear
We will obey the God that we so fear
                                    God Says,
                                     God Says!

Our C-rap is free for the taking.  It'd probably be a mercy if we didn't get credit.
Betsy Ashby and Donna Taylor
Background Vocals
Cyndy Rex and Sam Haynsworth
Button Clicker
Steven Rex
Sounds Effects
Grithorn, the dog with gas